It looks innocent enough, a dainty little piece of lacy frippery. But don’t be fooled by the virtuous façade that betrays the wedding garter’s sleazy history. When I got engaged I felt like a bit of an outsider to the secret little rituals of the bridal world, and I certainly didn’t see the point of having my groom remove this little piece of lace and hurl it to his mates (but I’ve never really been one for tradition). As I found out in our interview (read it here), my fiancé really wants the garter-toss to feature in our wedding. So, here is the result of my research about the wedding garter custom and some variations and alternatives for other not-so-traditional brides.
Apparently it all started around the 15th century in England (though some sources say France), when the garter-toss as we know it was called ‘Flinging the Stocking’. There appear to be several versions of the story, but both originate in the marital bedroom on the night of the wedding. It’s said that it was custom for there to be a witness in the bedroom on the night of the wedding, just to make sure that the bride and groom … um, well, let’s just say I’m pretty sure most modern brides & grooms wouldn’t want someone witnessing their wedding night action. The garter was collected by the witness as evidence that the bride and groom had consummated their marriage.
Another not-so-sleazy version of the story is that the bridal party and wedding guests would invade the bedroom of the bride and groom ‘all in good fun’ and swipe bits of the bride’s clothing (particularly her left stocking, for some reason) for good luck. I think this gives a new meaning to the term ‘bridal party’, but to each their own. Parts of the brides clothing were considered good luck. Good luck charms were serious business back in these superstitious times, and apparently guests became so keen to get their hands on them that they would virtually attack the bride at the altar. So in the end, the bride got smart and threw her personal items, including the garter, to the mob to avoid being trampled.
So how does this all relate to the modern day? Nowadays, the wedding garter tradition is seen as a bit of fun and a way to get your guests involved, but it certainly isn’t as hard-core as when it first originated. It’s still considered lucky for whichever eligible man catches it, as he’s supposed to be the next one to get married. It still gives a nod to the virginity (or loss of it) theme, but these days many couples live together before they get married, so for most it’s just an enjoyable tradition.
